I am not sure what exactly I am about to write, because I don’t really have a particular point in my mind. Happens a lot these days. Not having a particular point and lots of random thoughts in mind trying to figure out if at all there is a point. In my mind. Or to anything. I generally attribute this state of being to being lost. So these past few weeks, there has been a background thread running in my mind as to what really defines me. Is there anything that is really “me”? In its pure unadulterated form? Whatever I like or dislike, whatever I do/don’t do, whatever I am or not am…that is a result of the happenings and influences around me. So, if the influences had been different, the environment different, would it have resulted in a different “me”? I always hear people saying “be yourself. Do what you like”, but even this, I have never really understood. What does being yourself really mean? At a very superficial level I guess it means not to be influenced by other peoples’ perception of you and doing what you like. But then, you liking a particular thing is in itself influenced by so many people and happenings around you. Your surroundings. And I sometimes wonder – Just because you are doing what you really like to do, are you being yourself? (whatever that even means). Anyway, this thought that whatever “me” I know myself as, is variable, was bothering me no end. And I had a lengthy intense discussion with the husband about this. Anyway, bottom line is life is a journey where you find yourself. By looking inside you, questioning you, and by making sure the known and the knower are the same.
Among other interesting things,
Met up with fellow blogger and college batch-mate yamini over coffee and chocolate cake. We spoke, ate, walked and chilled out on a lazy sunday afternoon by the lake. iLike 🙂
Went camping with grad school gang and had awesome time. There were many “firsts” on this trip and they turned out to be interesting experiences. 😉
Another camping weekend happened with some friends and was fun as always. I am realizing that camping can get highly addictive. Who needs hot showers, soft comfy beds when you get to wake up to chirping birds and stove side maggi.
I have been questioning myself on whether I should stop blogging because these days I am not really finding anything in it. But then, few days back, in a particular weird state of mind, I read one of my old posts and got some comfort! 😀 So I guess, blogging is still on, for now.
I recently realized that one of my common lines to the husband these days is “mujhe bohot ajeeb feel ho raha hai” (I am feeling very weird!). This always precedes the conversations I mentioned above.
Another short trip is happening and that is a hiking+camping trip in Utah. But for that, I really need to buckle up and spend the next few remaining days in the gym preparing myself to keep up with the other expert hikers in the group 🙂
Oh, and yes..Fall is here! My favorite time of the year. I love the slight chill, falling leaves, orange, pumpkins and squashes in the farmers’, scarves and chunky sweaters, hot starbucks and cozying under the blanket for some extra time in the morning.