A comeback…sort of!

I am not sure what exactly I am about to write, because I don’t really have a particular point in my mind. Happens a lot these days. Not having a particular point and lots of random thoughts in mind trying to figure out if at all there is a point. In my mind. Or to anything. I generally attribute this state of being to being lost. So these past few weeks, there has been a background thread running in my mind as to what really defines me. Is there anything that is really “me”? In its pure unadulterated form? Whatever I like or dislike, whatever I do/don’t do, whatever I am or not am…that is a result of the happenings and influences around me. So, if the influences had been different, the environment different, would it have resulted in a different “me”? I always hear people saying “be yourself. Do what you like”, but even this, I have never really understood. What does being yourself really mean? At a very superficial level I guess it means not to be influenced by other peoples’ perception of you and doing what you like. But then, you liking a particular thing is in itself influenced by so many people and happenings around you. Your surroundings. And I sometimes wonder – Just because you are doing what you really like to do, are you being yourself? (whatever that even means). Anyway, this thought that whatever “me” I know myself as, is variable, was bothering me no end. And I had a lengthy intense discussion with the husband about this. Anyway, bottom line is life is a journey where you find yourself. By looking inside you, questioning you, and by making sure the known and the knower are the same.

Among other interesting things,
Met up with fellow blogger and college batch-mate yamini over coffee and chocolate cake. We spoke, ate, walked and chilled out on a lazy sunday afternoon by the lake. iLike 🙂

Went camping with grad school gang and had awesome time. There were many “firsts” on this trip and they turned out to be interesting experiences. 😉

Another camping weekend happened with some friends and was fun as always. I am realizing that camping can get highly addictive. Who needs hot showers, soft comfy beds when you get to wake up to chirping birds and stove side maggi.

I have been questioning myself on whether I should stop blogging because these days I am not really finding anything in it. But then, few days back, in a particular weird state of mind, I read one of my old posts and got some comfort! 😀 So I guess, blogging is still on, for now.

I recently realized that one of my common lines to the husband these days is “mujhe bohot ajeeb feel ho raha hai” (I am feeling very weird!). This always precedes the conversations I mentioned above.

Another short trip is happening and that is a hiking+camping trip in Utah. But for that, I really need to buckle up and spend the next few remaining days in the gym preparing myself to keep up with the other expert hikers in the group 🙂

Oh, and yes..Fall is here! My favorite time of the year. I love the slight chill, falling leaves, orange, pumpkins and squashes in the farmers’, scarves and chunky sweaters, hot starbucks and cozying under the blanket for some extra time in the morning.

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11 Responses to A comeback…sort of!

  1. Hie MPB, lots of travel coming and vacations coming up for you. You must be very excited no?? 🙂
    Good to know that you are having an awesome time catching up with your friends, school gang & blogger friends. Don’t feel ajeeb, feel happy 🙂

  2. Well I would not suggest stopping ot blog is good, you can keep it open.. as and when you get something ot write you can write .. why close it ..

    and totally with you on who needs hot shower when you can wake up to shirping birds and fresh air and blue sky .. I would od it anyday …

    all the best for the india trip .. safe journey 🙂

    good to see you back..

  3. nightflier says:

    glad to see your post and the meet up feeling is mutual! 🙂
    you know I totally get your ‘I am feeling weird’ line. Some time back I was going through a similar phase when things would just not make much sense and I would end up feeling weird!
    but that apart so jealous that you are going for all these hikes! one hike with me back home, pleaseeeeee ??? 😀

    • yes yes!! trek around pune definitely on!
      And glad to know you feel weird too…it is an interesting state of mind to be in…You want to get out of it, but at the same time you want to be in it to figure out the point 😀

  4. One good thing about blogging is we can blog as much and as little as we are inclined to 🙂

  5. I didn’t know you and Yamini were college friends … hmm ! that’s how I must have stumbled upon your blog or vice versa! I hope that ‘feeling’ goes away soon

    ∞ © tanvii.com ∞

  6. Gayatri says:

    Yeah blogging has been leaving me with mixed feelings too. Don’t know why. Glad you’re enjoying fall. Here it Texas, it still feels like summer 🙂

  7. Siri says:

    I am reading your blog after a very long time. Great going. I wish you continue writing.

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