This and that!

– Among many other things, I have been feeling a bit lost past few weeks. Probably because I am not giving enough time to just sit and laze around, thinking about nothing in particular. Hectic days at work somehow trickle down to the remaining part of the day and whatever free time one has goes into thinking about how to solve a particular bug at work 😐
However, I am getting better at handling this and making sure I do keep my mind work-free for the remaining hours of the day when I get back from work.

– My mother continues to surprise me. In a good way πŸ™‚

– A trip to India is getting me all pumped up and excited. It is too early to say, and I have not even booked my tickets yet, but I am smiling just at the thought of spending time at my place and hopefully spending the diwali at home as well. After years.

– I get really mad at people, when they find out I plan to go back to India in the near future and say “oh, everyone plans that, but no one really does it”. I get mad and I judge the people who say this. I mean, they are judging me (without even knowing me that well). I know, I am going back, and that is all that matters. Hmph!

– I have reduced my sugar intake drastically past few months. I now eat pastries, desserts, ice creams only once (or some times twice) a week. That is still kind of high, but considerably low as per my previous consumption. And I am feeling the difference already. smooth skin and not a single outbreak in months!

– People around me, friends in general are making babies left and right. Each day I see at least one announcement or a new baby picture on someone’s profile. I have never been particularly intent on being a mom. Even today, I am super doubtful about the whole process and there are days when the husband and I talk about these things and I just cry out- I want a baby, but why don’t you give birth to it! Silly, I know but I seriously wish things were the other way round. As scared I am about hospitals, needles and the paraphernalia, I don’t know how I am going to deal with the baby making process when the time comes. More than the process I am also worried about how our life will change after a baby. I mean I can no longer go hike whenever I want, or just sleep till noon. But I am told there are other adventures when the baby comes and I am just finding it hard to agree to that. Sure, it will be all cute and nice, and awww…but I need my excitement.

– I get these thoughts and these are most of the times followed by a guilt wave. I am so heartless, I lack the ‘motherly instinct’, I will never get a baby and that will serve me right. But I am not even too sure about the whole “motherly instinct” part. Is there really anything like this? Or is this just social conditioning?

– The husband and I camped over the weekend amidst foggy hills and a scenic beach. This was our first ‘solo’ camping trip. I mean, not solo, because there were the two of us! We have camped before and it has always been with a group. But this time we just decided at the last minute, on a friday evening to go camping the next day. And it was a weekend well spent! Some of the notable mentions include seeing deer just outside our tent, eating maggi and wine in the cold of the night, a tired, sound sleep, waking up the next day and going to the beach and eating maggi by the beach (we cooked it on our small camp stove!), hiking in the mountains soaked in fog and dew (it reminded me of wuthering heights-exact same landscape!) and on sunday treating ourselves to an amazing Italian meal of pizza, pasta and Tiramisu in the neighboring Italian town of Sausolito.

A mile into the hike

Dense fog-covered hills

– During the above mentioned hike, we hardly saw any people on our way and it was so quiet, eerie and beautiful! All we could hear were the waves breaking on rocks at some distance and our own footsteps. And during the difficult parts, me huffing and puffing along the way! And all we could see was the small path in front of us, because the dense fog had covered everything else. Utter bliss!

 

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10 Responses to This and that!

  1. My Era says:

    A very honest post πŸ™‚

  2. first of all that first picture is breath taking ..

    i have to do this camping thing sometime sooon , I love outdoors ..

  3. Pepper says:

    Lovely hike. And I totally get you about being ‘non motherly’.

  4. nightflier says:

    I so like your little hiking adventure! sounds just what one needs once in a while!
    Also, I think motherly instinct might be natural, but depends on how connected you are to yourself. In my case sometimes I am so disconnected that I can hardly feel what I want. Wonder how I would tell what the baby wants! πŸ˜€
    and you have really lost a lot of weight! the glow shows on fb pics πŸ™‚

    • Thanks! And I am not quite sure about motherly instinct being natural. I mean, the sense of protecting your loved ones (including baby) is always there, but the fact that the mother knows what the baby wants and feels is a myth, me thinks. It makes the mother almost like a super-human.

  5. As always a delight to read your honest post. Specially on a sunday afternoon!

    ∞ © tanvii.com ∞

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