How much of “wanting” is too much “wanting”? All of us are constantly wanting something. Be it as small as wanting a chocolate chip cookie or something huge like wanting to have a house of your own. I just wonder, at what point do the wants stop? When one is truly happy where one is, with whatever one has? But then, even if I do achieve this state, is it constant? This state of fulfillment? And if not, then it was not true fulfillment to start with, right? For the past few years, I have been trying really hard to minimize my wants. Small and big ones. And I have really been successful in reducing the intensity of these wants. Like, I don’t have to have everything I want. Even as children we had really high importance of keeping our wants to minimum in our house. My parents were really strict when it came to spending money. There was never a shortage of money, but in spite of this, we were never encouraged heavy spending. Pocket money was a concept alien to us kids. I mean, I had the saying “Simple living High thinking” plastered on my wall in block letters (I still have it in my room back in India). As a kid, I did not necessarily agree to these strict, frugal ways we were subjected to, but I think that sort of thinking became second nature to me. Not crapping money, giving importance to investing and reducing the wants so that the importance of material things is reduced. Minimum is a relative term, but you get the point.
And yet, there are days when I feel like a small child, crying out in my head that I want a particular thing. And to add more agony to the existing agony, this want is not self created but it exists because I stupidly went ahead and compared my life with that of another being. Again, something I try very hard not to do. And to my credit I end up successful most times. Clearly, not this time. And because of all this, I am mad at myself. For comparing. For putting so much importance to that one material thing. Argh!! Let me go bury my head in some far corner till I recover this selfishness.