Mish mashed thoughts

– I wish I was born in a different era. I would have loved to be a part of the industrial revolution. The early 1800s. So much innovation and change. But then, there is no short of that now, as well. But somehow, the current age/era tires me. Sometimes.
– I don’t quite like the word “staunch”. It seems/sounds very..well, staunch! Maybe because of what it means. I don’t like staunch anything. I like the possibility of having options and of being flexible to change. Somehow the word staunch suffocates me.
– I am feeling very melancholy. I love how this word sounds to the ears. So rhythmic. I have always loved how this word sounded. Ever since I first came across it.
– Does the heart cry? In my mind, I am quite happy, but somehow I feel as if my heart is sad. Is that what they mean by melancholy? I rarely feel like this. Most of the times the mind and the heart are on the same page.
– I love anything with a dreamy quality to it. Be it a painting or a photograph or the way words play or a tune. Nowadays I prefer this dreamy feel. I prefer to think as if I am gliding rather than walking. I prefer to live in the world that is in my mind, sometimes.
– I want to laugh like crazy. The kind where eyes water and stomach hurts. And the jaw feels stiff. And you feel like peeing. The last time I laughed like this was during a new years get together with some friends. It has not been a long time after that, and yet, it feels like I have not laughed liked that in ages.
– The more I am living, the more I am realising the different moods I can have. Maybe, I am observing myself more closely. Sometimes, I have found that this close observation of oneself can be quite unsettling. But, only sometimes.
– I have been listening to “Moon River” on a loop for the past hour, and somehow the tune is making me sad. Not sad in the ‘hurt’ context. But sad in a sweet, dreamy context (if there is anything like this).

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10 Responses to Mish mashed thoughts

  1. nightflier says:

    What’s up Neha! This is a really melancholy post 🙂
    I think I understand when you say heart is crying but mind is happy. I am living like that for I dont even know how long now (drama queen! :D). Not that things are bad or anything, its just deep down I feel really sad 😀
    and I want to be reborn in the pre-independence era once. I want to!!!

    • It is? It is one of the posts where I didnt have to try to write. It just came to me.
      Pre-independence era was interesting!
      And btw, have you root caused that deep sadness you have?

  2. My era says:

    I too have been in a phase for quite sometime when my mind and heart haven’t been on the same page. Though things are looking much better now, maybe cause the winter is gradually moving towards Spring.
    Hope you return to your cheerful self with mind and heart beaming on the same page, real soon 🙂

  3. Ah! I found myself nodding several times in agreement while reading your state of mind. I can’t even blame winters … its not that cold here! Don’t know what’s up!?!?

    ♡ from © tanvii.com

  4. Pepper says:

    I wanted to say “me too” or “same pinch” for every single pointer. Really. So I thought I’ll just say it altogether in one line.

  5. Archana says:

    Melancholy is a beautiful word. I did try saying staunch too, sounds weird now 🙂 Feel better; guess its world-over-smartass girls-suffering week!

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