My day so far – And a note to myself

8.15 AM: (in office) : Just finished checking mail.
My thought bubble: I am frustrated. Superbly, royally frustrated. Pissed off. At everything and everyone around me. I come to work early in high spirits hoping to get something tested and be done with, only to find that the lab guy had done *nothing* about the service request I had put yesterday. And it is not helping that the lab is in UK and my today’s update (of telling him to budge and do it quickly) will only be seen by him tomorrow. So, effectively, whole day gone without finishing the thing I was hoping to wrap up today. This is perhaps a trivial thing, happens to everyone all the time. But it has brought tears of frustration in my eyes on this awesome sunny day. And I can feel the day and the events just spiralling downwards from this time. I can just feel it.

8.30 AM: Send a mail to the lab guy. Log into gmail to ping S and tell him my dukh bhari kahani. S is offline. Ping M (He is my college buddy who is very dear to me). A snippet of the conversation:

me: hi
M: hey moti
  wass up?
me: 😦
  i am frustrated
  and want to vent it
M: ha ha ha
  kya hua??
me: %@#%@! UK ka lab guy
  one %#$%#$% he is (I used a word I wont print here)
M: itana kya hua re??
me: i put in a request to fix an issue i am having yesterday..
   and he replied saying they don’t fix such issues
   (and they are actually paid to fix ANY issue engineer might have)
   and the damned machine is in UK..which means I have to wait
   one WHOLE day for him to respond to my request
  Almost the whole week is gone just trying to get that machine up and running
  The rudest, non-responsive lab assistant EVER!!! in the history of mankind!
  phew
  ok..done
M: nikal gaya sab
me: yes
M: now jaa kuch khhaane and peene ko leke aaa ** M is a person who thinks the solution to any problem is eating 😉 **
  and just chilll
  🙂
me: hahaha
  seriously…i need to learn anger management
  😉
M: yar mera simple funda hai ….
  panni pita hu mast thanda
  and then akele jaake chai pee leta hu
  and aane ke baad mast gane sunata hu..then sab nikal jaata hai
  phir bhadd main jaaye duniya and bhad main jaaye kaaam
  😀
me: lol
M: aur tabhi nahi nikala to Himesh ki movie dekh leta hu
  lolz
me: hahaha
M: jo ab dekh raha hu
  😀
me: i hope mera vo stage na aye and I recover before that
  😀

9 AM: Take a cup of tea, go down and sit on a bench next to the fountain. The hot tea is feeling heaven in the chilly weather.

My thought bubble: hmm..What M said is true.. bhad me jaye kaam. Seriously, why do I get frustrated over work and such seemingly small issues (See, by now I have realised that the earth shattering issue I was talking about earlier is indeed a small issue). Work is there today, it might not be tomorrow. What is going to stay constant and affect me in the long run is how I deal with such things and people. How I deal with my own anger. How I stop myself from being angry in the first place. These issues are not going to matter in the long run. In the big picture. Or they might even matter. But at this moment there is nothing much I can do but email that person and wait for him to (hopefully) do something constructive. Hmm.. (mind blank for a while)
Actually, accepting that there is not much one can do after a particular point is just so damn hard! And just so very important to maintain a peace of mind. And important so that it does not affect the other things you do in life. hmm.. Maybe I over-reacted? hehe (this is me laughing in my mind) But don’t we all realise we over-reacted after we have reacted? I mean, wouldn’t it be better if I would have just thought all these things before I reacted and got angry?!
I think I will just write a post so that I can read it whenever such triggers make their appearance.

9.30 AM: Comes back upstairs to office and starts typing out this post 😀

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13 Responses to My day so far – And a note to myself

  1. Gayatri says:

    Haha! I am exactly like that. It’s a ‘perfectionist’ thing! And I feel quite silly for over-reacting once the moment passes. But so far none of my resolutions to kick that habit have worked. So I have no advice for you, only empathy 🙂

  2. nightflier says:

    The one thing which helps me get rid of such dependency-related-irritation is reading! 😀
    Yes I start reading as soon as I realize the person, I am waiting for, has either fallen asleep or is stuck in a traffic jam or may be is a slacker. Helps me. (I avoid eating because it makes me sleepy at work :D)

    • What do you read, nf? work related stuff? coz I try n read work related stuff, but that further makes me realize how far off I am from reaching my deadline, and in turn I fret more about people related dependency 😉
      I think I will start getting my kindle to work. And try reading some nice books or comics 😀

      • nightflier says:

        google reader subscriptions (try to stick to blogs/slash film/bollywood stuff :D)
        else non fiction e-books.
        work related stuff under low tolerance conditions – nako re baba! 😉

  3. I can TOTALLY relate … though have not found a solution! I am the QUEEN of over reacting! 😛

    ♡ from © tanvii.com

  4. Pepper says:

    Awesome conversation with your friend. Me likes 😀

  5. Lol.

    I find it almost impossible to get too worried even if everything around me is just completely f**ked. It’s not as much of a virtue as it sounds, because it can often make me look like a completely insensitive oaf. I think it’s important to have some kind of balance in your perfectionism… Apathy is not so good for long term success but neither is hysterical perfectionism. My girlfriend definitely falls into the latter category, being one of the most compulsive, focused people I’ve ever known. We make a good foil for each other, and I think some of the personality traits are starting to rub off. 😀

    So anyway, A has stuck a piece of paper right in front of her desk. In big, bold foot, it says :

    “I RELEASE my addiction to perfection and affirm the wholeness of life.

    Whatever it is, it’s probably NO BIG DEAL.”

    She says it helps to look at it when things get too stressful. You might want to try something similar.

    Cheers.

  6. My era says:

    Thank you for sharing that conversation here 😀

  7. pavani reddy says:

    interesting post girl…

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