Few days back I was browsing shaadi.com and found a strange thing. Just for the records, browsing matrimonial websites is not my hobby, neither does S need to be alarmed . So the strange thing was that, for the guy’s profile, there is a field “prefer a working partner?” and for girls the corresponding field is “prefer working after marriage?”. And even though I am not surprised at this bias, it got me angry/bothered. Does this means that guys have no preference whether they want to work or not? They HAVE to work? Whereas for girls, they still need to make sure their partner ‘prefers’ a working partner for them to work. Even if they want to work, they have to take permission.
Such things time and again remind me how “lucky” I am to have S who really does not demand much from me. And then again, I think, why am I feeling ‘lucky’ for this particular reason? Why should I feel lucky if he cooks at home, if he keeps his own things in place, if he has no issues if I work and in the process do not serve fresh meal everyday! Because seriously, that is not the reason why we married. That is something which needs to be done by default. Sharing of responsibilities and duties should be done by both partners by default. But after seeing so many skewed marriages around me, I really cant help but feel happy about the ‘helpful husband’. And I hope he feels that I am the helpful wife . I am definitely lucky for the many things that S is, but not because he does equal work at home. Rather, I try to not feel lucky about that.
One of the things which he had told me when we were dating back in grad school was that the only thing that will make him unhappy in this marriage is me doing anything for him, which I don’t want to do. I think I said ‘yes’ (at least in my mind) to his proposal after I heard this . And today, as we finish two years of signing our marriage certificate, I can’t be happier with ‘us’. Marriage really has not been a big deal the way we live together. It is almost like living with a friend/room-mate, but with added benefits . And hence, the transition from being single to married has been quite seamless. They say time goes fast when you are having fun…And these two years swished past!! With all serious-ness, I do hope he feels the same way. Maybe I will go home and ask .
PS: Though we signed the marriage cert on this day two years back, we actually had the ceremony-marriage on the 31st. We do celebrate on both these days. My suggestion of celebrating everyday from the 18th to 31st was blatantly ignored.
PPS: this is random. Or maybe it is not, and I did not think of any other title.